Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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