Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The feeling are messing with the penis
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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