evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
