Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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