Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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