so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
