I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
