Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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