i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
