I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
