Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
