I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
