I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
