I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I want is dick and wine.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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