There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
