Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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