My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
