She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
