Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
3 2 1 whiskey
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
