This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
