if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
