Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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