im gay
i know
yea but for you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
