Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
