she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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