How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
