I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
