Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
