Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
