your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
