he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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