Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
