Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
