my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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