I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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