I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
