sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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