after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
