I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
