so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
