and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to calm my uterus...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
