so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
