Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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