ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
