im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
