help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
