some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
