smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
