I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
