I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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