why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
