when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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