Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
