Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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