good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
