i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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