i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
